


Lie to me (I mean this, I'm OK)

by Talvi



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23171041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvi/pseuds/Talvi
Summary: Frank "Lie to me" brought back memories to Gerard of what could had been a beautiful night.Now he feels he would have to deal with the guilt forever.a.k.a.Gerard's internalized homophobia locked up his feelings for Frank, end they both end up hurting.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Kudos: 17





	Lie to me (I mean this, I'm OK)

“I mean this! I’M OK!”

“Lie to me”

In that moment Gerard wanted throw away the mic and walk away. It was less than a second, but he couldn’t stand those three words. Anyway he had to keep going, and as he tried to catch Frank’s attention, he found himself vulnerable when the guitarist stayed with him during the last song. At a side, watching, listening. Then they left and nobody said anything.

Gerard locked himself in his room. Mikey called him, and Gerard only said he was tired and actually preferred to stay. But what he did was pick up a bottle of whiskey from the minibar and sat by the bed. The TV was turned on but he wasn’t listening at all. He was remembering.

***

“Hey Gee, you ok?”

“Yeah, why…?” Gerard couldn’t finish the sentence. Frank was drying the sweat off his face post-show with a white towel. They were together in the tour bus. The singer never realized the other one had followed him.

“I mean, you ran off. Your brother told me to come and check if you’re alright”

“I am, it’s just…”

“Just?”

“Come on, Frankie! The…kiss…tonight!”

“Oh! Gee? Is that what makes you so…what? worried? ashamed? I mean, I don’t know what shows you’ve been playing man, but we’ve been doing this stuff for a while now and…”

“I know!, it’s just… this one was… different” definitely Gerard wanted to use another adjective, but different would have to do.

Frank laughed. Out loud and Gerard could feel the red in his cheeks. He knew he was being an idiot and Frank would make fun of it. On-stage kisses and games were that. Of course. Gerard never faked it on stage and what they had been doing was having some fun, and something that people could talk about, right? Just that. JUST THAT. He repeated in his mind. He realized he had been looking to the floor ashamed when he felt a finger on his chin.

“Gee. Hey look at me mate. It’s alright. I didn’t...sorry, I wasn’t making fun of you, it’s just. It’s kinda...cute, you know?”

“Sure”

“I mean. Look at me, come on” said Frank, grabbing Gerard by the wrists “Man, I like you, ok?”

“Yeah me too”

“No, but…” fuck it, thought Frank, if Gerard wasn’t picking up the clues… “this” and he kissed the singer again. A small peck on the lips that lasted around 4 seconds. Gerard could not think of a universe where he was shyer than this one. But his closed eyes spoke of magic, fireworks. And the body pressed against his spoke of love.

“F-Frank, I…This is not right…”

“...what?” said Frank lazily still trying to catch Gerard’s lips again

“It’s not right come on… t’s for the stage…”

Frank stopped and looked at his friend. Letting go a sigh he placed his hand on the other’s neck. “Gee, are you telling me… for real… that you didn’t feel THAT?” this time when Frank got closer again, Gerard let him. The kiss lasted a second more this time, and lips were parted, Frank let go the tip of his tongue inside Gerard’s mouth and that’s when the singer moved away again.

“Frankie, man… we’re friends, you know?”

“So?”

“I mean. On stage is fine, but, we’re not like.. together or anything…”

“We can be.”

“What? Frank, no…”

“Hey Gee. What is it with you? We’ve been fooling around a while,… like…” Frank’s look changed in a split second “like…REALLY? Hey you know what? I came here for you, thinking…fuck, man, why was I thinking something that stupid? Why was I even thinking someone like you could ever…..like me, you know? You want on-stage foolishness? ok you got it! Don’t come to me, ok? You’ll have to figure out who’ll pick you up the floor when you’re passed out, ok?”

With that, almost yelling, Frank turned around heading for the door, when he felt a hand grabbing on his arms.

“Frankie…I… don’t leave. Please.”

The guitarist looked at his friend and lifted his hand showing one finger that he put under his nose as a moustache. Gerard broke into laugh but before Frank could do anything more, he caught that finger in his lips, making the other gasp. Without giving Gerard more time to think, Frank pushed him against the wall, kissing him hard and grasping the other’s hair.

“Frank…”

“Please shut up Gee? You want to pretend this is stage? Let’s pretend babe…”Frank’s hand went under Gerard’s shirt and in that moment someone tried to open the door. “Fuck!” Frank opened the door to find Ray looking for the singer. With a hand gesture, Frank walked away.

***

Gerard laughed at the memory. He remember mumbling something to Ray and running behind Frank, thinking he would be mad, but he was actually laughing.

***

“That was so stupid”

Frank was almost running to the hotel when Gerard got to him and grabbed his hand. At that moment, the guitarist turned around and smiled at him.

“Where are you going?”

Frank just shrugged and kept walking fast, Gerard behind him.

“Frank, where are you going?”

They stopped at the front desk of the hotel and Frank asked for his key. Gerard just followed him, this time in silence.

Frank didn’t look back at him until they were inside his room, Gerard standing awkwardly next to the minibar. Frank got close but only to take out a beer that he offered to Gerard, who took it and drank half of it in one go. When he finished he was surprised to find Frank without his shirt.

“The gig today was kinda crazy, you know… I mean, every concert I expect you to come to me like that and… but it did took me by surprise.” he said with a small laugh

“You..you do?”

Frank sighed smiling. “Shut up and lets go on with this, ok?”

“What?”

Gerard couldn’t finish because Frank was over him again and he barely had time to put the beer at the table. In less than a few seconds his shirt was off too and while his mind still tried to put things together, he found himself lying at the bed, all this with Frank not moving his lips from his own. He tried to speak again but found his friend sucking softly on his neck and there was a part of him that actually wanted this and had dream with it for too long. He thought, after all, wasn’t he the one who went to the guitarist that night? But another part in his brain was telling him to stop over and over again. But now, Frank’s ministrations were going down onto his chest and Gerard couldn’t help a moan when he felt a tongue licking slowly on his left nipple. If he wanted to say no, he knew this was the moment. He didn’t say a word, but at the same time didn’t know if he was supposed to do anything. He closed his eyes, remembering the on-stage kiss and found himself getting harder and harder under his tight jeans, now the place were Frank hand was heading to.

“F-Frank…?”

“Yeah babe?” said the guitarist moving his index fingers in circles around Gerard’s belly button

“What are we…I mean…” he swallowed hard “What are we going to…do?”

Frank smiled and quickly unbuttoned Gerard’s pants, so the other didn’t have time to protest or say anything.

“We will do… anything you want, Gee. Anything.”

The singer couldn’t find a quick answer and Frank was already freeing his cock and feeling it with the palm of his hand.

“I know you’ve been with guys before, Gee. So don’t be ashamed. It’s me, alright? I can tell how you’re feeling for your silence.” he said with a chuckle “You are never so silent.”  
Gerard just bit his bottom lip and softly put a hand on Frank’s head. If Frank said they would do anything, then… Frank got the hint quickly and leaving a trail of soft and a bit wet kissed went down Gerard’s chest and stomach, until he felt the other’s breath grow deeper. Frank’s hand moved up and down Gerard’s length a few times before he softly licked the tip of the singer’s cock.

“F-Fuck…”

Frank knew that he already had Gerard on board of this, but he wanted Gerard not to deny it when they woke up. Because he knew that that was going to happen. Well, not if he played his cards well. So he tried to take all of Gerard’s cock in one go. He failed, and only got to take half of it. He was not proud of it, but apparently it was more than enough for the singer who let go a long moan and grasped harder on Frank’s short hair. Frank got a hold on the other’s hips, trying to assure that Gerard had control of the situation. 

Time was going on too slow and too fast in Gerard’s head. He was trying not to think because otherwise he knew he would rather get out of there. Not that he didn’t feel good things towards Frank, or that he wasn’t enjoying, and it was true that he has had previous encounters with men, but on those, particularly all of them, Gerard was really drunk and mostly high, so he could barely speak of it the day after. In a way, it was his defense mechanism. He wasn’t going to be known as the emo rock star that slept with men, he had never wanted that, and the rumors were already out there, and he fooling around with Frank just kept them going… He shook his head. Because Frank didn’t deserve all his self-hate. Frank was different from the other guys, for sure. Frank was sweet, Frank was smart, Frank was creative, Frank was sexy, Frank was lovely…and he could go on for days listing all the reasons, but also, maybe most importantly, Frank really liked him, and Frank was sober. 

And Frank was now sucking effortlessly on Gerard’s cock and if the singer wouldn’t have moved the other’s head out of him, the night would have probably got to an end really quick. Smiling, Frank moved up to get closer to Gerard, trying to kiss him just to find Gerard moving his head to the side with his eyes closed. Trying to ignore the knot in his throat, the guitarist set himself to leave marks on his friend’s neck, which turned out better than he expected since now he got Gerard moaning more and more. Frank was pleased with himself, thinking for how long he wanted to have Gerard like this, but couldn’t stop feeling the resistance of the other and for a moment he wished the singer were drunk enough to stop resisting. He blew off the idea from his thoughts knowing how better this was. While Gerard seemed somehow lost in the pleasure, Franks got sure to finish undressing him and undress himself and Gerard opened his eyes again when he felt the other’s erection moving against his own.

“Fuck….fuck…fuck…”

“That’s exactly what I want, Gee…” said Frank, trying again to go for the other’s lips, only to find the singer moving his head from side to side, his eyes closed once more and his hand going to grasp Frank’s buttocks. “Is that what you want too, babe?” he whispered in Gerard’s ear, softly nibbling on his earlobe, his hips still moving so their cocks would rub each other over and over again.

“Yeah, I...” tried mumbling Gerard “I do… the way I… is…” as hard as he tried, he couldn’t seem to make a whole sentence. And Frank kept moving and he was speechless for whatever reason, but he needed to say something. “I do…I mean…”

Frank kissed hard on Gerard’s lower neck, as if to leave a mark once again and let go a small laugh.

“I know you don’t bottom, Gee… don’t worry.” he grabbed the singer’s cock and gave him a hard stroke before moving quickly to find the lube and a condom from the pocket of his jacket, seeing that Gerard still seemed to be lost in a sort of warm breeze. When he came back to the bed, positioning himself straddling the other’s legs, Gerard was mumbling something under his breath, his eyes closed and suddenly started stroking Frank’s tights. One last time, the guitarist leaned down for a kiss only to be rejected for the third time. Ok, then THAT was not going to happen. Cursing under his breath, Frank was starting to pour lube onto his fingers when Gerard took his hand.

“Here, I…wanna do that….” with a surprised smirk, Frank handed over the small bottle to Gerard who generously poured it on his fingers “but… turn over, please? like…on your belly…”

Letting go with a sigh, Frank did as he was told, thinking about how many times he imagined this happening and how in those scenarios he was always seeing Gerard’s face coming inside of him. But, he will have to go with this… at least this time, hoping that Gerard would lose himself a bit more with time.

Once he got Frank on his stomach, Gerard place the tip of his middle finger on the other’s hole and closing his eyes pushed inside. Frank bit his lower lip and closed his eyes. He probably would not believe this was actually happening until he felt Gerard’s cock inside, up until that point Gerard could regret it, and even after that…so Frank was counting his blessings and smiled when Gerard pulled out to add more lube and tried to insert a second finger almost without consideration.

“F-Fuck, Gee…”Frank tried to relax, to enjoy the situation but the truth was that it had been a long while since he let someone fuck him. He felt that since he got into MCR, he was somehow saving himself for Gerard ever since that drunken night when the singer confessed he liked guys but he didn’t really like to be penetrated. So now Frank was in that situation and Gerard’s third finger had no mercy. Of course Gerard would like that to be over as soon as he could, sober as they were. “It’s fine, it’s fine now…” he spoke and felt the fingers sliding out of him “Please just use more lube” he heard the sound of the lube and he hoped Gerard was putting more onto his cock.

“Fuck…”

Frank felt Gerard pushing into himself with only a curse word as a warning and felt the singer’s chest skin against his back, hot, sweaty and right there, on top, marking Frank in the most intimate way, feeling like it was his first time as a teenager. Same old geek guy on a dark garage. But the white sheets of the hotel said otherwise now.

“Gee…. move... move babe, do it…”

Gerard let go a sigh and started moving inside of Frank

“Shit… shit…”

“Does it feel good?” said Frank trying to hide his smirk

“S-Shut up…”

In that moment Frank wished for a second they would have been drunk. He felt something almost breaking inside his chest but then Gerard’s cock touched his prostate and he seemed to forget everything in a long moan. Within a minute, the singer’s thrusts became easier, Frank’s body used to him now, but the air kept being filled only with the guitarist sounds, with some sporadic agitated breaths from Gerard.

“Damn, Gee… Yes…Fuck yes” said Frank trying to look over his shoulder, his friend’s eyes closed and his face concentrated in whatever he was thinking. In that moment, Gerard supported himself in his elbow, his chest getting in touch with Frank’s back. He stopped moving for a second and spoke softly to the other’s ear.

“I..” he said thrusting hard once “said…” and again “fucking…” and again “shut…” and again “up…”

Frank had to bite his lip in order not to scream at the second thrust. Okay, he thought, he wanted it that way, of course he was going to have it like that. Always what Gerard wanted, that has been Frank’s life for a while now.

And now he had what he wanted for so long also, Gerard Way’s inside of himself, sweating, his fingers leaving marks on his hips, his teeth biting his neck. ‘Please don’t think right now, please don’t’ said Frank to himself in a whisper. So he didn’t, and let himself be man-handled by Gerard, let himself be fucked hard by the man he most admired in the world. Gerard’s movements became erratic and Frank bit the pillow to not scream. Gerard’s cock seemed somehow to be a bit bigger for less than a second and after one last and long thrust Frank could feel Gerard load filling his insides. Without realizing, he let go a moan and his right hand moved behind him to pull Gerard’s tight close to him for one more second. After that moment, Gerard moved off without a warning and ignoring Frank’s face of displeasure, sat on the bed, cleaned himself with the sheet, put on his black boxers and walked to the bathroom.

Frank rolled over and, lying on his back, covered his eyes with his hands. His asshole hurt and burnt a bit, but there was something inside him that hurt even worse. When Gerard followed him to the hotel Frank actually thought the rest of the evening was going to be different. Did he dream with Gerard fucking him senseless? Yes, he had been dreaming that for years. But it wasn’t supposed to hurt this way because, in his day dreaming, he always ignored the fact that Gerard didn’t love him at all, that it was an act, and, the part that it wasn’t, was just sex. His cock was still hard but he didn’t care. Gerard got what he wanted, again.

Frank got up the bed and dressed himself, covered in everything, he didn’t really care. He left the room and decided to sleep on the tour bus.

***

Gerard had finished the whiskey and the tears rolled down his cheeks. He knew how he had lost Frank forever and there was no turning back. He always blamed Bert’s addiction on how things ended with him but even back then, Gerard had to blame himself. He could never admit on having feelings for men, sex could be one thing, but no feelings. And now that part made him lose Frank too. The rest of My Chemical Romance was for sure going to be hard. Nothing alcohol couldn’t kill, right?

**Author's Note:**

> I loved Frerard.  
> I hate to turn Gerard into the bad guy.  
> I love this band and these two idiots.  
> Thanks for reading.  
> .  
> We're meant for the flies.


End file.
